What the deuce? I had 12 viewings yesterday in the same timeframe? While I appreciate this sudden minor burst in popularity, I have no idea where it came from. Thank you, whoever you are.
You are probably all sitting on the edge of your seats wondering if I will give you a verdict on my dating adventure. Well, I am not one to divulge too much to such a potentially unknown audience, but I will say that it was enjoyable. We went bowling. In my first game, I really lit up the scoreboard with an impressive 122 points. I am not sure what happened in the meantime, but I managed to cut my score in half for round two with a final count of 59. Ugh.
Pizza for dinner was good as well. We were witness to an epic catastrophe that involved an overly dramatic arm gesture by a young adolescent male that got in the way of a waitress carrying a load of soft drinks. It was entertaining and embarrassing at the same time.
So yes, it was a good time. And yes, I do have plans to see this guy again, but that's all I am saying for now. You'll just have to wait. I did drink copious amounts of Diet Dr. Pepper, which is always lovely. Mmmm... Diet Dr. Pepper... I could sure go for one now... (You're welcome for the free product placement, soda company.)
Yay! It's Friday! Normally this signals that I will be able to catch up on sleep, but like a stupid crowned stupid I went and scheduled some routine maintenance for tomorrow morning. First on the agenda is a nail trim appointment for Lena. That should take about 5 minutes. Then, I have to bring my car in for a scheduled oil change and maintenance. That should take about two hours. To complicate matters, my mother is working and my father will be going to the farm, which means that I had better bring along a good book. Any suggestions?
Showing posts with label dating. Show all posts
Showing posts with label dating. Show all posts
Friday, May 20, 2011
Thursday, May 19, 2011
Douchebags and Dating
Sometimes I find that when I am trying to spread my love of humor with the world, it really just sounds lame. This was likely the case with my last entry, unless you heeded my advice and checked out those YouTube videos. I cannot really claim credit for those, however, so I will have to settle for being the reference librarian who found them for you. Maybe I can use that to get some free grad school credits.
Yesterday I had a bit of a caffeine-crazed mental overload. No, I did not go crazy and throw packing peanuts everywhere or smash pieces of Starlite Mints into the carpeting.
How did it all start? Oh, that would be when my coworker asked a question about the movie, "National Treasure." I believe she was wondering the name of one of the actors. Not having seen the movie, I could not be of much assistance. This was a bit of a surprise to her as the storyline of the movie (historical artifacts, archives, etc) should appeal to me.
At this point, I had to reveal one of my unknown and bizarre dislikes: Nicholas Cage. Ugh. Even typing his name into my sacred blog space makes me want to vomit. I could probably compose an entire entry outlining my reasons for disliking this vile and odious creature so much, but I really don't feel like filling the world up with more references to this creep. Just know that on the grand scale of things, I equate him to a Crowned Eagle, and not in a powerful majestic way. In a stupid mammal eating ridiculous head rock swooping stupid way.
Now that summer is ALMOST here, it is about time for my schedule to start filling up like mad. School helps immensely in this regard, but I have only gone to school in summer once prior to this year and I have always felt like my summers are just full of constant obligations. Don't misunderstand my tone, not all of the obligations are unwelcome, it just becomes very difficult for me to remember what I need to do on any given day.
So... tonight I am doing something unique (for me). I am going on a quasi-date! What justifies the "quasi" modifier? Well, this whole thing has been set up by my dear pregnant friend and is going to be a double-date type scenario involving Briana, her husband, me and the guy. I won't share his name because that just isn't fair, is it? Tell you what. I will give you a little hint. He has been on a reality TV show. Extra hint: it is NOT Survivor or the Bachelor. In fact, it isn't a show that is being actively made any more. But still. Interesting, right?
To pull back and be a bit more general, I find it very interesting how people react to the news that I am going on a date. After all, it is just one date. People do it all the time and depending on how cool I am, it is an event that could potentially be repeated. This isn't my first date of all time either. For goodness sakes, I am 31 years old, I have been on a few first dates in my time. Just not recently. Hence the crazy reactions.
For instance, one of my mother's friends (who has known me since I was two years old) is so excited she has informed my mother that she is praying about it. While that seems a bit premature to me (as I have not actually met this guy yet), I appreciate her enthusiasm. Although it does imply that my situation appears a bit desperate, doesn't it? Hm.
Last night I had someone ask me what my "checklist" of items were for what I found acceptable in a date. I was not surprised by the question, but I found that I could not supply a ready list of traits or features as I was able to do 10 years ago.
So much of what defines personal chemistry cannot be predicted or measured by predetermined ideals. I mean, sure, when I was young the big things for me were height, eye color and hair color. (I wanted tall, blue-eyed guys with brown hair.) Later in life, I chose to be selective about personality features: sense of humor, intelligence, kindness etc.
As time has progressed and I have seen more of the dating scene, these requirements have become secondary to the most basic ideal that when you are evenly matched, it just feels comfortable. I can't say that I have experienced this firsthand, but I have certainly been close to those who have had it happen to them.
This is the attitude that I take with me into new dating endeavors. My expectations are kept to the minimum. Don't misread this - I am not saying that I have LOW expectations or NO expectations. But we are all just people and we all have our quirks and personality differences. There is no guarantee of anything more than a fun night of conversation, pizza and bowling, but I am looking forward to it. I intend to enjoy myself and hope that everyone else does as well.
Now that I am reading this post in the hope of coming up with an appropriate title, I realize that I have not exactly stuck to a theme. Honestly, I am a little disturbed that I chose to put Nicholas Cage in the same entry as a discussion on dating. Arg. What a tool. (Nicholas Cage, not me.)
Yesterday I had a bit of a caffeine-crazed mental overload. No, I did not go crazy and throw packing peanuts everywhere or smash pieces of Starlite Mints into the carpeting.
How did it all start? Oh, that would be when my coworker asked a question about the movie, "National Treasure." I believe she was wondering the name of one of the actors. Not having seen the movie, I could not be of much assistance. This was a bit of a surprise to her as the storyline of the movie (historical artifacts, archives, etc) should appeal to me.
At this point, I had to reveal one of my unknown and bizarre dislikes: Nicholas Cage. Ugh. Even typing his name into my sacred blog space makes me want to vomit. I could probably compose an entire entry outlining my reasons for disliking this vile and odious creature so much, but I really don't feel like filling the world up with more references to this creep. Just know that on the grand scale of things, I equate him to a Crowned Eagle, and not in a powerful majestic way. In a stupid mammal eating ridiculous head rock swooping stupid way.
Now that summer is ALMOST here, it is about time for my schedule to start filling up like mad. School helps immensely in this regard, but I have only gone to school in summer once prior to this year and I have always felt like my summers are just full of constant obligations. Don't misunderstand my tone, not all of the obligations are unwelcome, it just becomes very difficult for me to remember what I need to do on any given day.
So... tonight I am doing something unique (for me). I am going on a quasi-date! What justifies the "quasi" modifier? Well, this whole thing has been set up by my dear pregnant friend and is going to be a double-date type scenario involving Briana, her husband, me and the guy. I won't share his name because that just isn't fair, is it? Tell you what. I will give you a little hint. He has been on a reality TV show. Extra hint: it is NOT Survivor or the Bachelor. In fact, it isn't a show that is being actively made any more. But still. Interesting, right?
To pull back and be a bit more general, I find it very interesting how people react to the news that I am going on a date. After all, it is just one date. People do it all the time and depending on how cool I am, it is an event that could potentially be repeated. This isn't my first date of all time either. For goodness sakes, I am 31 years old, I have been on a few first dates in my time. Just not recently. Hence the crazy reactions.
For instance, one of my mother's friends (who has known me since I was two years old) is so excited she has informed my mother that she is praying about it. While that seems a bit premature to me (as I have not actually met this guy yet), I appreciate her enthusiasm. Although it does imply that my situation appears a bit desperate, doesn't it? Hm.
Last night I had someone ask me what my "checklist" of items were for what I found acceptable in a date. I was not surprised by the question, but I found that I could not supply a ready list of traits or features as I was able to do 10 years ago.
So much of what defines personal chemistry cannot be predicted or measured by predetermined ideals. I mean, sure, when I was young the big things for me were height, eye color and hair color. (I wanted tall, blue-eyed guys with brown hair.) Later in life, I chose to be selective about personality features: sense of humor, intelligence, kindness etc.
As time has progressed and I have seen more of the dating scene, these requirements have become secondary to the most basic ideal that when you are evenly matched, it just feels comfortable. I can't say that I have experienced this firsthand, but I have certainly been close to those who have had it happen to them.
This is the attitude that I take with me into new dating endeavors. My expectations are kept to the minimum. Don't misread this - I am not saying that I have LOW expectations or NO expectations. But we are all just people and we all have our quirks and personality differences. There is no guarantee of anything more than a fun night of conversation, pizza and bowling, but I am looking forward to it. I intend to enjoy myself and hope that everyone else does as well.
Now that I am reading this post in the hope of coming up with an appropriate title, I realize that I have not exactly stuck to a theme. Honestly, I am a little disturbed that I chose to put Nicholas Cage in the same entry as a discussion on dating. Arg. What a tool. (Nicholas Cage, not me.)
Friday, October 22, 2010
Loverly Advice
WARNING: Please do not be misled in thinking that the tone of this blog entry is angry or overly bitter. My intention (as with most of my entries) is to be a bit sarcastic. Although there is a legitimate grain of truth in most of what I am saying, I wish to emphasize that this is illustrative and hopefully instructional. It is also NOT specifically directed at any one person.
Just to warn you, this entry is going to get personal. Not in a bad way, hopefully.
In case you have not been able to pick up from my blog entries to date, I am single. In my situation this means that not only am I unmarried, but I do not have a boyfriend, am not “seeing” anyone nor do I appear to have any possibilities on the horizon for dates.
Please note that I am not saying this to inspire sympathy, so if you already went there, get yourself out. Believe me, as a 30 year-old female in the midst of friends who are mostly all married and starting families, I am well aware of what people think of my situation.
Normally I would not be drawn to write about this subject, but I was inspired by an interesting comment that my mother relayed to me over the weekend. She had been speaking with a friend of hers and they fell on the subject of marriage or lack thereof. My mom’s friend told her that her sister knew a woman now in her 40’s who is still single. No matter how many times she has been set up on dates or other similar ilk propitiated by well-meaning friends and family, nothing has really clicked.
Thus far, the story is not that inspiring, but eerily familiar. The next step in the conversation is what brought me to this entry. Apparently, the conclusion was that the reason all the attempts to create romance failed was that this woman simply did not really want to be married.
At first, this statement really irritated me. It seemed to be a non-single person’s attempt to explain a single person’s apparent failure to find a mate. Most likely, this non-single person has tried on numerous occasions to set up their single friend with people that they deemed to be high quality, or at the very least, of a certain age and still single.
After I had time to think about it, I started to realize that it is not all their fault. It really just shows how ignorant non-single people can be about the intricacies of dating. Once you are “settled” and do not have to worry or think about finding a date, your instincts for the game almost completely disappear.
In the interest of spreading awareness to the world and to benefit people like myself and this 40 year-old spinster, I am going to give you non-singles some helpful advice.
1. Do your homework. If you’re itching to play matchmaker, make sure that you are well acquainted with both of your set-up subjects. This is extremely important. It is not sufficient to know only one of your subjects as this leads to a major imbalance in the pre-date information exchange. When I am approached by someone that wants to set me up, I always ask important questions, and if my yenta-of-the-moment does not have ready answers, I cannot proceed.
Examples of answers to know: How old is he/she? Where does he/she live? How long have you known him/her? How do you know him/her? Have you spent time with him/her socially? At work? Why do you think I would like him/her? Be specific.
2. Vocabulary. There are certain words and phrases that all singles have been subjected to by almost every non-single they have ever had to speak with about their love life, or lack thereof.
“It will happen when you least expect it.” This is the king of all trite statements and it is completely USELESS. If you learn nothing else from this entry, remember to NEVER use this phrase EVER AGAIN. It is in no way constructive and is solely based on the person’s selective memory that their own special someone magically appeared when they were in no way shape or form seeking a romantic partner. This is pure baloney and you know it.
“You should really join a [insert lame club here].” The location or type of club can changed based on religious affiliations, athletic abilities and/or hobbies, but in the end it is all the same. Yes, SOME people do meet future life partners at such events or group meetings. But if you join solely with the intention of meeting your future spouse, there is a great likelihood that you will be disappointed and that you may lose enthusiasm for the religion/sport/hobby that you once loved.
“Have you tried online dating?” Anyone who has been single for more than six months in this century has probably at least checked out an online dating site and possibly even tried one if not several of them. Online dating is big business, and it places dating firmly into the same category as online shopping. You can pick and choose your way through different pictures and profiles, selectively choosing your favorites. You can even communicate with several people at once, thereby hopefully increasing your odds of finding a quality person amongst the riff-raff. The behavior that would make you a cad in real life is perfectly acceptable in the virtual world.
Again, I realize that this method has worked for some. However, it does have the high probability of destroying your faith in humankind just as easily.
“See that guy/girl standing over there? He/she is cute! You should date him/her!” Really? REALLY??? I sincerely hope people are joking when they say these things.
3. The whole “picky” situation. For some reason, people seem to think that singleness is somehow a function of being overly picky. This would conversely suggest that people who settle down early in life have no standards whatsoever. How does that sound? I thought so. Compatibility is a strange and mysterious subject. If there is any phrase that I do put some faith into, it is “you know when you know.” If we all knew if or when this moment was to occur, there would be no need to waste time dating people who were wrong for us. It doesn’t come down to being picky or not.
To conclude, let me remind you that I am coming to this subject with a spirit of hopeful understanding. Yes, I am single. Yes, I do hope to someday be in a happy and loving relationship like so many of my friends and family. In the meantime, I am living my life and doing what I want and need to do to take care of myself and my own happiness. If I want your advice or judgment, I will ask you for it. I will even consider going on a blind date with that “perfect” guy you have for me, provided you do your homework.
Just to warn you, this entry is going to get personal. Not in a bad way, hopefully.
In case you have not been able to pick up from my blog entries to date, I am single. In my situation this means that not only am I unmarried, but I do not have a boyfriend, am not “seeing” anyone nor do I appear to have any possibilities on the horizon for dates.
Please note that I am not saying this to inspire sympathy, so if you already went there, get yourself out. Believe me, as a 30 year-old female in the midst of friends who are mostly all married and starting families, I am well aware of what people think of my situation.
Normally I would not be drawn to write about this subject, but I was inspired by an interesting comment that my mother relayed to me over the weekend. She had been speaking with a friend of hers and they fell on the subject of marriage or lack thereof. My mom’s friend told her that her sister knew a woman now in her 40’s who is still single. No matter how many times she has been set up on dates or other similar ilk propitiated by well-meaning friends and family, nothing has really clicked.
Thus far, the story is not that inspiring, but eerily familiar. The next step in the conversation is what brought me to this entry. Apparently, the conclusion was that the reason all the attempts to create romance failed was that this woman simply did not really want to be married.
At first, this statement really irritated me. It seemed to be a non-single person’s attempt to explain a single person’s apparent failure to find a mate. Most likely, this non-single person has tried on numerous occasions to set up their single friend with people that they deemed to be high quality, or at the very least, of a certain age and still single.
After I had time to think about it, I started to realize that it is not all their fault. It really just shows how ignorant non-single people can be about the intricacies of dating. Once you are “settled” and do not have to worry or think about finding a date, your instincts for the game almost completely disappear.
In the interest of spreading awareness to the world and to benefit people like myself and this 40 year-old spinster, I am going to give you non-singles some helpful advice.
1. Do your homework. If you’re itching to play matchmaker, make sure that you are well acquainted with both of your set-up subjects. This is extremely important. It is not sufficient to know only one of your subjects as this leads to a major imbalance in the pre-date information exchange. When I am approached by someone that wants to set me up, I always ask important questions, and if my yenta-of-the-moment does not have ready answers, I cannot proceed.
Examples of answers to know: How old is he/she? Where does he/she live? How long have you known him/her? How do you know him/her? Have you spent time with him/her socially? At work? Why do you think I would like him/her? Be specific.
2. Vocabulary. There are certain words and phrases that all singles have been subjected to by almost every non-single they have ever had to speak with about their love life, or lack thereof.
“It will happen when you least expect it.” This is the king of all trite statements and it is completely USELESS. If you learn nothing else from this entry, remember to NEVER use this phrase EVER AGAIN. It is in no way constructive and is solely based on the person’s selective memory that their own special someone magically appeared when they were in no way shape or form seeking a romantic partner. This is pure baloney and you know it.
“You should really join a [insert lame club here].” The location or type of club can changed based on religious affiliations, athletic abilities and/or hobbies, but in the end it is all the same. Yes, SOME people do meet future life partners at such events or group meetings. But if you join solely with the intention of meeting your future spouse, there is a great likelihood that you will be disappointed and that you may lose enthusiasm for the religion/sport/hobby that you once loved.
“Have you tried online dating?” Anyone who has been single for more than six months in this century has probably at least checked out an online dating site and possibly even tried one if not several of them. Online dating is big business, and it places dating firmly into the same category as online shopping. You can pick and choose your way through different pictures and profiles, selectively choosing your favorites. You can even communicate with several people at once, thereby hopefully increasing your odds of finding a quality person amongst the riff-raff. The behavior that would make you a cad in real life is perfectly acceptable in the virtual world.
Again, I realize that this method has worked for some. However, it does have the high probability of destroying your faith in humankind just as easily.
“See that guy/girl standing over there? He/she is cute! You should date him/her!” Really? REALLY??? I sincerely hope people are joking when they say these things.
3. The whole “picky” situation. For some reason, people seem to think that singleness is somehow a function of being overly picky. This would conversely suggest that people who settle down early in life have no standards whatsoever. How does that sound? I thought so. Compatibility is a strange and mysterious subject. If there is any phrase that I do put some faith into, it is “you know when you know.” If we all knew if or when this moment was to occur, there would be no need to waste time dating people who were wrong for us. It doesn’t come down to being picky or not.
To conclude, let me remind you that I am coming to this subject with a spirit of hopeful understanding. Yes, I am single. Yes, I do hope to someday be in a happy and loving relationship like so many of my friends and family. In the meantime, I am living my life and doing what I want and need to do to take care of myself and my own happiness. If I want your advice or judgment, I will ask you for it. I will even consider going on a blind date with that “perfect” guy you have for me, provided you do your homework.
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