Monday, May 13, 2013


Last night I had trouble falling asleep.  Maybe it was the fact that I slept in until at least 9:30 a.m. both Saturday and Sunday.  Or maybe it was the medium iced americano I drank at 4 p.m.  Who knows.  The point is that I sat awake last night with my mind racing without sleep.  Of course, knowing that one is to wake up at 4:45 a.m. to walk the dog doesn't help either.

Somehow I managed to survive the day without incident.  But I cannot say it was pleasant, at least not in the morning part of it.

For some reason, I assumed that when the weather finally warmed up around here, my mood would go from bored and sad to excited and happy.  I suppose I should have known myself better than that, but yesterday's brunch proved otherwise.

If you live under a rock or in another country, yesterday was Mother's Day.  We went all out and took my mom to brunch because there is nothing that mother's like less than having people mess up their kitchen on Mother's Day.

We chose a place that I knew my mom would like.  She had been there before, as had my brother and future sister-in-law.  It is one of those neighborhood joints that is small in size but likes to pride themselves on local or fair-trade ingredients.  Noble causes, I am sure.

This place is pretty new seeing as how the building in which it resides burned down a few years back. 

But back to the story. 

Despite my best efforts at making a reservation at 10:30, we arrived to find that they were not quite ready for us as they had seated some people in our prospective area and while they were done eating and had paid out, for some reason they felt compelled to wait 10 minutes to leave.

This wait allowed me to witness the use of the facility's espresso machine.  It was fun and shiny, as well it should be and I watched jealously as a latte was sent out to a patron who was already seated.  I made a note that I too would be enjoying such an item.

So when we finally reached our table and our waitress asked if we would like a beverage, I requested a latte to be made with skim milk.  I am on a weight loss program, after all.

Her reply was not exactly what I wanted to hear, but I guess in retrospect I should have expected it.  I cannot really blame her for it as I highly doubt she sets the rules, but apparently the male baristas are "purists" and do not have skim milk as an offering.  Therefore, I would have to forgo my food and drink whole milk. 

This initial response did in fact irritate me quite a bit.  But it was what came next that sent me over the edge.  Apparently, these "purists" are willing to deviate entirely from the realm of dairy to accommodate those with vegan and/or lactose issues by offering to use soy beverage.  As if the "purists" over in Italy would do such a ridiculous thing.

I was forced to drink regular coffee despite the waitresses efforts to suggest that the soy beverage could be acceptable.  After she left, my family inquired as to whether or not I was angered by this piece of news.  I believe my response was something mumbled to the tune of "stupid hipster douchebags."

This is not to say that I cannot respect a decision not to offer several types of milk from a cost perspective.  I am just not keen to have some high and mighty "stupid hipster douchebag" imply that my choice to consume dairy at a healthier cholesterol and fat level is somehow "impure." 

So this was my rant of the morning to my coworker as I explained my new wave of general malaise.  I am not sure what can cure it.  I tried walking around some lakes and eating chocolate.  Tomorrow it is supposed to hit 90 degrees which means that I may be taking a Dairy Queen walk with my pregnant co-worker.  Is the soft serve of DQ "pure" enough for the standards of the barista at yesterday's restaurant.  I highly doubt it.  Thus, I shall have my revenge.

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