Saturday, October 6, 2012

Of to the market I go!

It is a little chilly here today in Minnesota, dontcha know?  We are surviving as best we can, but truth be told, I am not too upset about it.  If you know me, you know that I actually somewhat enjoy it.

Yet again, I am facing a weekend of home and dog watching, although I do have some human company in the form of my uncle who is here from Europe and is going to see the visiting King and Queen of Sweden this afternoon.  Quite exciting.

Meanwhile, I must mentally prepare myself to do some errands.  As I am able to do this without the accompaniment of children or other distractions, it might appear to be a simple task.  In most other areas of the metro it probably would be no more onerous than making the right selections and staying in budget.  Unfortunately, my "local" area is full of crazy people.

Some might point out that this is due to the fact that I now live in Edina, MN.  For those not familiar with the Twin Cities and its suburbs, Edina is what you might call "old money."  It is home to the infamous "cake eaters" of hockey lore and often is called by its affectionate acronym, "Every Day I Need Attention."

Not that I can generalize in total, because I know that not everyone fits this mold.  However, it does lend some explanation to why I hate shopping at the local Super Target.  Again, this is not a generalization about Super Target; EVERY shopping venue in this radius has this problem.  It is just that Super Target is my intended destination today.

From the start, this sort of escapade has the ability to enrage.  The parking lot itself is a fender bender waiting to happen.  Or perhaps a sign of the apocalypse.  No one yields, stops or uses their eyes to spot potential danger.  You can fully expect to be cut off, run over or made to wait for the car in front of you who is blocking the lane while they wait for the spot they want to open up.  Never mind that there are eight more openings just two spots down.

Once safely inside, it is still best to be on one's guard.  The manner in which most patrons operate their automobiles in the parking lot is almost identical to the way they maneuver their shopping carts in the aisles of the store. 

I am of the school of shopping that proceeds with caution when emerging from aisles into crosswalk sections.  I try to keep my cart to the side or out of the path of traffic when picking up my items.  In most places I have been, this is how everyone behaves.  Not so in Edina.  People come charging out of aisles without a sideways glance.  They come to a halt in the middle of sections to stare at what they might want to buy without leaving room for anyone to get around them.  They let their children ride bicycles from the sporting goods section around the store.

This is all one hundred percent true.  Do you understand why I need to build up my defenses before heading out?  It is best to be mentally prepared to avoid bouts of unmitigated rage or under-breath swearing.  If I could avoid it for another day, I would.  But I am out of so many items and I felt a little bad when my uncle could not find anything of substance to eat in the house last night other than Girl Scout Cookies and Lean Cuisine entrees. 

Unfortunately, my parents have been gone so much in the past few weeks, my shopping habits have not been robust enough to feed more than me.  Normally, my parents have their staples that are purchased throughout the week, but without them to pick up things that normal people eat, the house is full of the oddball stuff that I get for myself.  So today, I am going to attempt to pick up "real" food along with other toiletries that I am sadly in need of at the moment.

So wish me luck, but do not be surprised if you read about a nuclear breakdown in the Edina area today.  If you keep your distance, you should survive.

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