Thursday, August 4, 2011

Baby, you can drive my car

It is amazing how much influence my morning commute has on my morning frame of mind.  Sad, really.  For reasons that I cannot pinpoint, it seems that drivers continue to get less and less responsible and more and more insane as the years go by.  I could run through the litany of stupid things that people do on a regular basis, but most people probably already have seen it. 

I wonder if it would help to send everyone back to driving school every 10 years.  Or place monitors in cars that record bad driving to report to insurance companies or police.  Maybe someday.  But then there will be the people who protest that this is an invasion of privacy.  Not when you take your idiocy out on to government funded roadways, moron. 

My conclusion is that driving is not good for my health.  It is dangerous enough to be on the road with other drivers, but when I have to dodge around them and constantly be dealing with people who operate in a constant state of total self-awarded entitlement, my blood pressure escalates.

The solution?  I need a driver.  Rest assured that I am not speaking of a limo driver, or even a town car driver.  I just need someone to operate my vehicle while I sit in the passenger seat, make small talk and admire the scenery.  I need to not have to concentrate on the road at all times. 

This was illustrated to me perfectly a couple of weeks ago when my mother and I went to St. Cloud for my grandpa's birthday lunch.  Normally, I somehow get roped into driving when I am with my parents.  Probably because I usually know where I am going and also because my mother gets annoyed with my father's driving habits. 

On this day, for some reason, my mother agreed to drive.  It was amazing.  I noticed signs, buildings, shops, trees; all things that are always there but I never get to see because I must concentrate on the totally un-scenic freeway.

Perhaps you are thinking that the better solution to the problem is obvious:  I should use public transportation.  Believe me, I totally would if I could.  In fact, I live right by a commuter train line.  Unfortunately, said train runs to downtown Minneapolis and does not cut through the suburb in which I work.  Not by a long shot. 

Other cities in the U.S. and around the world possess fantastic public transportation systems.  Maybe someday this will be true of Minneapolis/St. Paul.  For the moment, it is not.  My only option is to drive. 

Before you suggest that I take my bike, please note that all roads from my home to work involve some degree of freeway interaction.  As I do not have a death wish, I refuse to ride bike on the shoulder of a road that is covered by the very drivers who already make my car commute hazardous.  Also, this would defeat my goal entirely as I would still have to concentrate on the road.  I would also have to wear a hair-crushing helmet and sweat like a pig while doing it.  No thanks.

How can I achieve my new goal of being driven to my various engagements?  To add to the complications, I would prefer not to pay this driver.

So.  I need someone who will drive me to the places I need to go, will not require payment and will let me sit in the passenger seat.  Hm.  Sounds like I may need a boyfriend and/or husband.  Rats.  I may need to construct a personal ad.  I will have to be sure that I specify that they need a valid U.S. drivers license.  That should take care of it, I think.  I will let you know how it goes.

No comments:

Post a Comment