Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Ice Maiden

So apparently there is some sort of Internet blackout thing going on in protest of some bill before Congress that concerns the Internet.  That is as far as I got.  You may be upset with my apparent ignorance and my blithe treatment of the subject, but really I am just not in the mood to get all riled up right now.  No matter how beneficial it may be to raise my blood pressure and get all hot and bothered in these Arctic temperatures. 

Speaking of cold weather, I am concerned that I might be on the slow road to wimpiness.  Normally when winter hits, I am Nanook of the North.  Helen of Tundra (that's the name of my boots... awesome, right?).  I put on my winter gear and trudge forth into the world, regardless of the temperature or icy ground covering.

For some reason, this year I am having problems and it seems a bit ridiculous.  After all, we have had little to no snowfall.  Honest, if I look out the window right at this moment, it is sunny and the brown grass is completely visible.  Aside from the inches of salt and occasional patch of ice, it could be October.  Or May.  They all look the same in this state. 

But no, it is January 18, 2012. 

Don't be completely fooled.  It only looks like October or May.  If one was to walk outside, one would quickly find that it does indeed feel like January.  Do you remember when I told you (in my last entry) that Lena and I were going walking?  Technically, we did go for a walk, but it was not up to our usual length due to the fact that my face went into paralysis. 

Maybe my memory is failing, but I feel like I used to be able to withstand this kind of weather with greater strength and fortitude.  Now, when I get the slightest twinge of stinging pain, I turn around and hightail it home.  In fact, I distinctly recall as a teenager that I stupidly decided to take our Sheltie, Maggie, for a mid-afternoon walk in the middle of a snowfall.  We lived out on the edge of town, so our walks were conducted on the shoulder of a country highway. 

No one was out driving, if that is any hint to my idiocy.  But my Scandinavian blood was strong and we walked onwards.  In the end, what drove me back to the house was an alarming occurrence in which my eyesight became red.  Not completely, just whenever I blinked.  I don't know what this signifies in medical terms, but it cannot be a good thing.  To this day, if I ever reach the point of visual redness, I know something is wrong.

But now, I don't even get to that point.  I just wait until Lena (who is apparently unaffected by the temperature) relieves herself, and then I lead the expedition homeward. 

My theory, which is rooted in strong science, is that our unseasonal warm spells of the past couple of months have decreased my body's cold tolerance.  Perhaps if we can now have some prolonged periods of real winter temperatures, I can get my resistance back.  Not that I am wishing sub-zero wind chill on my beloved state, but if it will help me be less of a wimp, so be it. 

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