I believe that it is a true sign of maturity when one can calm one's own nerves effectively.
My vacation is over. It was not exotic and I did not see anything new or do anything crazy or stupid. I did not fly anywhere in an airplane. I did test my limits of family interaction, but I have survived mostly unscathed.
One of the most difficult things about taking time off is facing the inevitable return to work. For me, the hardest aspect of this is that I must alter my sleeping schedule back to the ridiculous alarm time of 5:30 a.m. The night before is the worst; I sit in bed anxiously remembering all of the things I so blissfully pushed out of my head while I was on break.
Last night, sleep finally came sometime after midnight. But it did not last, readers, it did not last. I awoke every hour until I finally opened my eyes to read that my clock was at 5:15 a.m. Normally, I make use of my snooze button a few times every morning. But after the first one ended at 5:35, I decided to break the habit (for today) and get up a little earlier.
With a heavy sigh, I swung my feet down to the floor as Lena joyfully leaped from the bed. If only I could muster up her enthusiasm for the day! Next, I trudged like a weary soldier through my morning routine to the marching tune of "I hate my job, I hate my job." When I finally made it to the shower, I stopped my chant to think about my day from a different perspective.
You see, it isn't really that I hate my job. It is more that I am frustrated and ready to move on to a new job, and every day that I spend in my old one is a reminder that I have not yet achieved my goal. Never mind that I have had my MLIS degree for only two weeks so far. Plus, I really do enjoy seeing and speaking with my coworkers, and I knew that once I got back into the swing of things and took up those relationships again, I would feel better.
And you know what? I was right.
Even though my job search is far from over, my dating life is stuck in reverse and my house still looks like a disaster zone; it will be OK. At least for today. If you ask me about this tomorrow at 5:30 a.m., I might have a different response.