Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Comforting myself

I believe that it is a true sign of maturity when one can calm one's own nerves effectively.

My vacation is over.  It was not exotic and I did not see anything new or do anything crazy or stupid.  I did not fly anywhere in an airplane.  I did test my limits of family interaction, but I have survived mostly unscathed. 

One of the most difficult things about taking time off is facing the inevitable return to work.  For me, the hardest aspect of this is that I must alter my sleeping schedule back to the ridiculous alarm time of 5:30 a.m.  The night before is the worst; I sit in bed anxiously remembering all of the things I so blissfully pushed out of my head while I was on break.

Last night, sleep finally came sometime after midnight.  But it did not last, readers, it did not last.  I awoke every hour until I finally opened my eyes to read that my clock was at 5:15 a.m.  Normally, I make use of my snooze button a few times every morning.  But after the first one ended at 5:35, I decided to break the habit (for today) and get up a little earlier. 

With a heavy sigh, I swung my feet down to the floor as Lena joyfully leaped from the bed.  If only I could muster up her enthusiasm for the day!  Next, I trudged like a weary soldier through my morning routine to the marching tune of "I hate my job, I hate my job."  When I finally made it to the shower, I stopped my chant to think about my day from a different perspective. 

You see, it isn't really that I hate my job.  It is more that I am frustrated and ready to move on to a new job, and every day that I spend in my old one is a reminder that I have not yet achieved my goal.  Never mind that I have had my MLIS degree for only two weeks so far.  Plus, I really do enjoy seeing and speaking with my coworkers, and I knew that once I got back into the swing of things and took up those relationships again, I would feel better.

And you know what?  I was right. 

Even though my job search is far from over, my dating life is stuck in reverse and my house still looks like a disaster zone; it will be OK.  At least for today.  If you ask me about this tomorrow at 5:30 a.m., I might have a different response.

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