Monday, January 23, 2012

This is why I am tired today

Now that my brain is starting to absorb its daily caffeine allotment and my thoughts are becoming more cogent, I feel up to writing an entry.  The weekend is over, and the new week has started with a bracing blanket of icy snow resulting in a simply LERVLY commute.

What happened over my weekend?  Everything.  And nothing.

Friday night was pretty quiet.  I just went home and chilled with Lena.  We went to bed at a decent hour and awoke at what I consider to be a decent hour in the morning.  Lena may have begged to differ. 

Saturday was again pretty quiet.  I did some work on my spare bedroom, but it is still far from done.  Most of my time is consumed by sorting through paper.  Old statements, letters, photographs, notebooks.  You name it.  I have it.  Sometimes I discover things that have been long lost and will have future use.  But most of it is junk. 

The problem with this junk is that while some of it really is pure garbage and can be disposed of as such, some of it is more "sensitive" and "personal."  You know, bank statements and the like.  They contain information that should not be released to prying eyes.  As in the potential identity thieves who will almost certainly raid my garbage.  Yep.

Most people solve this problem by using a shredding device or fire.  I do not have a legal fireplace, but I do have a shredder.  Unfortunately, this shredder is designed to accommodate only 2-3 sheets of paper at a time and my pile of papers to shred is WAY bigger than that.  Also, Lena has a tendency to freak out, bark, growl and attack loud things such as vacuum cleaners and washing machines.  I fear that prolonged use of the shredder in my home could be disastrous.

There are some alternatives that I am presently exploring, but in the meantime, my piles continue to grow.

Back to this weekend.

Saturday night, I was inexplicably tired and decided that going to bed at 9 p.m. would be a good idea.  I made sure that Lena had every opportunity to go outside, but I think that she was still a little confused by such an early bedtime. 

Despite my exhaustion, I did not sleep soundly.  At some point in the night, I found myself dreaming that I was in my bed, but that Lena had jumped to the floor and that I could not get her to come back up.  It was upsetting.  To calm myself, I decided to force myself awake in order to reassure my eyes that Lena was still sleeping soundly on the bed.

To my dismay, my dream was true.  Lena was on the floor by my door, looking back at me beseechingly.  According to my clock, it was 3:40 a.m. 

As this was atypical behavior for her, I decided to give her the benefit of the doubt and groggily pulled myself out of bed to take her outside. 

To my surprise, as soon as she reached the lawn, she promptly squatted and put forth what I can only say is the biggest movement I have ever seen a dog her size make in my life.  It was somewhat impressive, but it cannot have been comfortable for her.  I then remembered that she had not pooped for a second time on Saturday, and I theorized that this was simply the result of that anomaly.

After voiding her bowel and bladder, I assumed that Lena would readily return to bed.  While she seemed perky enough and willing to follow me, she remained restless in bed.  I was not sure if she assumed that we were getting up for the day at 3:40 a.m. or if she was still expecting more visits to the bathroom, but I was tired and not ready to start the morning.

She stayed on the bed until 7:20 a.m., at which point she jumped down again.  By this time, the sun had risen and my room was filled with natural light.  I decided not to fight her and took her outside again.  She did indeed need to void her bowels, but this time it was not solid.  I was now starting to become alarmed, despite the fact that she seemed upbeat. 

We returned to my bedroom to see if we could get just a little more sleep.  This is when I noticed that Lena had been busy. 

On the edge of my bed farthest from where I sleep, was a little pile of doggie vomit.  And there, on the floor next to that side of the bed was another little pile of doggie vomit. 

It was at this point that I finally gave up and decided that I was not going to sleep any more that night.

I quickly cleaned up the vomit, threw my bedding in the wash and prepared my SpotBot to work on the floor stain.  I then sent a text message to my brother (the vet) outlining the events of the morning and seeking wisdom.  His response was prompt and helpful, although I suspect that it came mostly from the brain of his ER vet girlfriend, who has proven to be the MVP of my life as of late.

In the end, Lena was fine.  I withheld food for the morning and started her on bland food in the afternoon.  But this morning, all seems well. 

My theory is that Lena gets bored during the week and likes to spice up her weekends with a little bit of drama.  Thankfully, none of it has been life threatening nor has it cost me an undue amount of money in vet bills (thanks to my MVP), but it has cost me in sleep. 

So if I seem a bit incoherent, remind me to drink more coffee.  This is going to be a long week.

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