There is something about Mondays that always push me to take a good hard look at my life and figure out what I am doing wrong. Maybe this is pessimism, but who knows.
Lately, I have had problems knowing what day of the week I am in at any given time of day. Yesterday, for instance, I lay in bed wondering if it was Sunday or Friday. Thankfully it was Sunday and I did not have to work, but it was still a bit strange. This morning I had a similar experience, but the outcome was less positive.
Perhaps this is due to the dreams I have had lately. On Saturday night, I dreamt that I was looking at houses with a family. Not my family. I am not sure why I was with them, but apparently I was going to be living with them. Maybe as a nanny? Anyway, one of these houses was enormous. A mansion. Every bedroom had an en suite bathroom. (This detail is probably due to the fact that I have watched way too many episodes of Househunters International.)
We ended up in an attic space that was supposedly a nursery for the children. Then we saw the ghosts. Of children. And toy horses. Both of which could speak. Creepy, no?
My theory for these apparitions is based on the fact that I have slight aversions to both children and horses. But I do love touring historic old houses. I am unclear how to explain why when I opened a crawl space door on the tour expecting to see a monster, I found Lena, Pippi and Thor instead. My own special version of Cerberus?
I realize that I may have blogged about this before, so I won't go into detail, but let us just say that the requirements of school are starting to come into play and it will require quite a bit more concentration than I seem to have these days to keep on track. Internships, grant proposals, instructional presentations and reading reflections, oh my!
In the midst of all this academic hoopla, I have decided that it would perhaps be wise if I took a break from my ongoing job searches. I have not had much success thus far, and it has really only served to make me feel hopeless and very very unsure about myself and my future. Therefore, I have decided to wait until I actually have the required degree completed before opening the door to more rejection.
Maybe this week, in addition to worrying about school, I will endeavor to do something truly creative, like bake a cake. Knowing my coworkers, they will eat most of it for me. However, I really should think about making something for my friends' birthday as well. So maybe this will be a two cake week. Now there's something to be happy about.